Wha- Bwa- Huh?
by the Cheshire Cat
Summary: Hilarity ensues. A ridiculous PWP scam. ^_^


**Wha- Bwa- Huh?   
by Rei ^death^ himura**

"Fish are stupid." Reno frowned at the bowlfish filled with small floating/swimming/moving things. "Swimming around in an endless circle. Content to -be- in that endless circle and not break out of it. I don't understand how they can handle the monotone." He 'oomphed' when someone hit the back of his head, causing the Turk-patented shades to come askew and fall upon the bridge of his nose.  


"Those aren't fish you idiot. They're sea monkeys." Tseng moved around the redhead, clutching his bottle of beer and then sinking into the lush comforts of the President's leather sofa.  


"Mind you, don't spill." Came the stern yet playful voice of Rufus Shinra, no longer clad in his usual eye-glaring white trenchcoat. Rather in a simple white shirt and a pair of faded jeans. The three sat in stony silence, each contemplating each other until they burst out in laughter.  


"Fuck you Tseng. You forgot your line again." Reno howled, slapping his thighs. The former Wutai snorted and then leaned over to grab a bounded stack of papers. He flipped it open, thumbed a few pages and then narrowed his eyes before glaring at Rufus.  


"It's -your- line blondie."  


"What?"  


"Says so here."  


"Clear blue... thingymabob." Read slowly in confusion. Rufus blinked and then looked at Reno and Tseng again.  


"Come wha-? Which jackass wrote this shit?" Reno was snickering. Tseng merely had his usual blank poker-faced expression. Eyes serene and body language relaxed.  


"It was -you- wasn't it?" Rufus's sapphire-glower narrowed down to Reno, who was futilely trying to cover his impending fit of hysterics by shoving his head into the fishbowl. Of course, such a tactic would often spell out death by suffocation. Thus now both Tseng and Rufus were trying to pull his flame-haired head out of the fishbowl. Several 'glugs' or protest to be heard. Something akin to a howl in normal human environment became a watery 'yowburble'. Rufus paused halfway in yanking Reno by the waist, flicked the messed-up fringe and then raised an eyebrow at Tseng holding onto the fishbowl and Reno struggling to take the damn thing off.  


"You know, my mother used to tell me this. 'If it jams, force it open.'" Reno froze, whatever imagery his rampant mind could come up with rendering his lithe frame still before resuming his wild frenetic attempts of forcing his head out of the bowl. Tseng snickered.  


"Flubbing afrsefole! Geft merh ouffa yerbre!!!" Rufus vanished for a moment, appearing the next wielding a halberd. Don't ask how he got it, the Shinras are quirky people.  


One didn't know who was more terrified. The sea monkeys or Reno.  


The halberd came in one felling swoop, coming into contact with the bowl... yet not crashing it. Rufus blinked again. Tseng's left brow twitched. Reno was getting more agitated. True, Turks were trained to hold their breath almost longer than a normal human could. But considering his wild agitation and the fact that Rufus -could- have smashed his face open in an attempt to save him. Even Turks had their limits.  


"FWARFH ARF FYUU?!?!?! PHURCFKING CFWAZY!??!"  


"Hmm. Stage prop from last year's Christmas production. No wonder it looked familiar." The pale-haired president shucked the prop aside and vanished again. Meanwhile, Reno prayed. Tseng laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. Reno prayed even harder.  


The bowl cracked open like an egg, its content splashing onto the carpeted floor; creating a damp spot. Rufus sighed, he'd have to get that cleaned. Reno gagged, aqua-emerald eyes wide open, staring at the ground and the fast-fading sea monkeys in disbelief. Tseng shrugged and returned to his couch, watching the follow-up scene with feigned disinterest.  


"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU COULD HAVE SPLIT MY FACE IN TWO! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"  


"Making use of my mother's advice. It did the job didn't it? At least you're not drowning like my poor sea monkeys. Which reminds me, you owe me another set."  


"WHAT?!"  


"Hmm... I'd throw in the wonderland version. They've got different coloured tanks too..." Thus the camera pans away, showing a half-enraged and half-bewildered (and very drenched) Reno about to clobber a calculatuve Rufus as Tseng leans back in the sofa and gives a trademark snicker.  


-END-  



End file.
